When and How to Discipline Children
November 5th 2005
depends on the child, the offense, the intended result and how
consistently it is given.
I do believe in spanking, but I know the type of parent that I am. I
know that the spanking is one of many tools that we use to train
behavior. That is my end result; training. What makes it easy for me
is that obedience was established immediately; from the cradle. That
is something I could spend pages explaining and still not do it
justice. Suffice it to say, my kids respond easily to discipline.
As for how to spank, I only know what worked for me.
1. A casual swat is a waste of time. If you are just trying to get
their attention, a clap, snap or word can accomplish the same thing
just as easily. By the time spanking is NECESSARY, getting their
attention is moot.
2. My intent behind spanking is to
make sure it never happens again. I probably spanked the kids a handful of
times, but each and every time I hoped it was the last. To make it
memorable, I made sure it hurt. Sorry. I know other people would not agree
but I believe it is kinder to be harsh once and never address it again, than
to be weak over and over and over again and never accomplish anything.
3. For my kids it was always bare bum, over the knee and with my bare hand.
An open hand on the bum smarts and stings, but it does not cause lasting
damage. It was short and to the point. They knew what they did. We all knew
the consequences. There is time to talk about it but I don't think that is
the best time.
4. Never ever ever ever ever spank a kid when you are angry. If you are
angry, you might lose control and cause unintended damage. If the kid
believes that you are responding in anger, he will believe that being
physical is an acceptable response to anger. It isn't. The spanking is for
the the offense, not the emotions.
5. I never apologized for spanking my kids. I apologize when I am wrong, but
my actions did not result in the spanking. Theirs did. When all was said and
done, they knew that.
Someone who does the same thing over and over again and expects different
results is a fool. If spanking did not work, I would not have wasted my time
Books on Discipline
Keywords and Misspellings: spank