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When and How to Discipline Children with Spankings

November 5th 2005

When and How to Discipline Children with Spankings

The Spanking Debate

Spanking depends on the child, the offense, the intended result and how consistently it is given.

I do believe in spanking, but I know the type of parent that I am. I know that the spanking is one of many tools that we use to train behavior. That is my end result; training. What makes it easy for me is that obedience was established immediately; from the cradle. That is something I could spend pages explaining and still not do it justice. Suffice it to say, my kids respond easily to discipline.

As for how to spank, I only know what worked for me.

1. A casual swat is a waste of time. If you are just trying to get their attention, a clap, snap or word can accomplish the same thing just as easily. By the time spanking is NECESSARY, getting their attention is moot.

 
 
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2. My intent behind spanking is to make sure it never happens again. I probably spanked the kids a handful of times, but each and every time I hoped it was the last. To make it memorable, I made sure it hurt. Sorry. I know other people would not agree but I believe it is kinder to be harsh once and never address it again, than to be weak over and over and over again and never accomplish anything.

3. For my kids it was always bare bum, over the knee and with my bare hand. An open hand on the bum smarts and stings, but it does not cause lasting damage. It was short and to the point. They knew what they did. We all knew the consequences. There is time to talk about it but I don't think that is the best time.

4. Never ever ever ever ever spank a kid when you are angry. If you are angry, you might lose control and cause unintended damage. If the kid believes that you are responding in anger, he will believe that being physical is an acceptable response to anger. It isn't. The spanking is for the the offense, not the emotions.

5. I never apologized for spanking my kids. I apologize when I am wrong, but my actions did not result in the spanking. Theirs did. When all was said and done, they knew that.

Someone who does the same thing over and over again and expects different results is a fool. If spanking did not work, I would not have wasted my time with it.

 

By Debbie Delatimer
Freelance Writer

  Books on Discipline

Keywords and Misspellings: spank disipline


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