Gay Marriage Debate

October 27th 2005

Unless you’ve spent the last couple years in a cave, you’ve probably heard of gay marriage, and I’m not talking about Liza’s wedding.  That’s right.  There’s another minority that has the gall to want the same legal standing and benefits that the majority now has.  Now I’ve heard a bunch of arguments on why this is a bad bad thing, and while I don’t agree with any of the arguments against, I thought I’d list them anyway. 

1)  Gay marriage isn’t necessary;   these couples can do everything through an attorney without the need for marriage.

I wonder how popular this would be if all couples had to have an attorney in order to have the basic protections that hetero couples take for granted?  This doesn’t, as far as I know, allow people to visit their loved ones in the ICU if the hospital has a policy allowing only immediate family members access, but why should people who have been in a committed relationship for 20 years be allowed to provide comfort to their significant others and be there for them in their time of need? 

Surely it’s better to have them scared and alone in their misery, for that’ll teach them to choose a gay lifestyle!  And while we’re on this subject, will the federal government provide the same social security benefits to a gay partners as a traditional couple because they’ve got an attorney?   Fat chance!  And what about taxes?  Will these gay couples be allowed to file jointly as traditional married couples?

2)  Marriage is an institution that has been around for thousands of years and is between a man and a woman.

That’s great and all, except in some cultures marriage is between a man and a woman and another woman and another woman, but we aren’t talking about those cultures, of course, because only our CURRENT culture is valid when it comes to marriage.  Granted, ignorance is an institution that’s been around for thousands of years and to this day is touted as blissful, but while this will help you run for office, especially in the Red States, it isn’t something that we should strive to preserve.  And what about slavery?   Isn’t that an “institution” that has been going on since the beginning of civilization?  Why I’ve heard even the Bible has a few things to say about slavery, and none of it condemns it, but that “institution” has been changed as we’ve grown more cultured and tolerant.  It seems that we can modify or change “institutions” as we please.    

3)  The Bible says gays are bad.

Does it really?  I’m not really convinced that it does, and even if it does, that doesn’t mean we have to make laws forbidding it.  Sure, some of the population runs everything through their personal Bible filter and applies to their lives  the rules and regulations they agree with, but that doesn’t  mean that the whole of society should  follow these rules.  The last time I checked, this isn’t the Christian States of America, and while there are a lot of people, our President included, that would be happy if we became just that, it’s not currently the case --- yet.  Besides, we pick and choose what we want to believe from the Bible anyway.  Certainly there’s no consensus among the religions that hold the Bible sacred. 

4)  Gays are sick and disgusting; I can’t even stand to think about them. 

I’m sure you’re just as disgusting to them as they are to you, too.  Whenever I hear someone rant on and on about gays being sick, vile, “abominations of nature,” it’s almost always a six-packer that’s saying it.  Don’t know what a six-packer is?  He’s someone who’s a six pack away from waking up next to Francois.  He’s so sick and disgusted with them because he’s had too many “walks on the wild side” dreams and no matter how many times he states his feelings on gays, he can’t get make the fantasies go away.  Continued on page 2

By John Conrad
Mr. Conrad is a writer based in Southern California

Keywords and misspellings: republicon democrat dimocrat