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Mahmoud Ahmadinejad - Iran's Leader can't Make up His Mind

December 23rd 2005

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad - Iran's Leader can't Make up His Mind


Iran’s little corporal just can’t make up his mind. One day, he wants to wipe Israel off the face of the map; the next, he wants to send the Israelis to the Arctic Circle to manage reindeer herds. Then he changes his mind again. No, the entire country, lock-stock-and-barrel, should be moved to Europe. He hasn’t designated any particular area in Eurabia—it’s nice at all times of the year and with an increasing Muslim population, pogroms may soon be back in style. How about Buchenwald or Dachau? The grandsons and granddaughters of Ilse Koch are unemployed and it would give them something to do.

They could go back to making lampshades. Even in dreary Sachsenhausen the Israelis would be safe from suicide bombers and they could spend their spare time listening to Barbara Streisand sing Second-hand Rose and opening C.A.I.R. packages hand-addressed by Ibrahim Hoopercrit and Nihad Awad who surpass even Herr Hitler in their compassion for International Jewry. Isn’t that little rat-bag precious?

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Ahmadinejad has a lot in common with Noam Chomsky. Their world-views are similar and he was a professor at Iran University—Science and Technology. He held the Dr. Strangeglove Chair—at least he talks like he did, wouldn’t let it go. He would like to ride on the back of a nuke to Tel Aviv. It would be better than a trip to the moon; he could take Kurt Vonnegut with him.

Ahmadinejad served as mayor of Tehran before he was elected President of the Peacock Kingdom. The list of reforms he imposed on his fellow peacocks in Tehran is impressive. He ordered separate elevators for men and women in city offices; he closed fast-food restaurants; he required all male city employees to wear long sleeves and to grow beards. If Marion Berry had thought of doing any of those things he would still be mayor of Washington, DC. Of course, he would be taking orders from Louis Farrakhan—

But now this precious little rat-bag is President of Iran and he seems to be suffering from acute foot-in-the-mouth disease, also know as tyrannus tiradeitis. He has said some mighty strange things. “We did not have a revolution in order to have a democracy,” he said. Everyone knows that; it’s what Hitler said. The United Nations is “one-sided,” he said. It is “stacked against the world of Islam.” Yeah, tell that to Ariel Sharon and the millions of dead Christians and animists in Sudan ant the hundreds of thousands of dead Catholics in East Timor. But rat-bags and braying jackasses never stop. The U.N. Security Council veto is unjust, he says. “Should such a privilege continue to exist, the Muslim world with a population of 1.5 billion should be extended the same privilege.” Oh, yes, he is one precious little rat-bag!

And when it comes to nuclear weapons, hear him whine! It is an ‘inalienable right’ to have WMDs. Worried that Israel might wipe his nascent nuclear weapons program off the face of the map, Ahmadinejad trotted out his Foreign Minister with a carrot for the greedy American capitalists. If the US will promise to observe the basic world-wide standards for nuclear power plant construction the Iranian government will permit the US to take part in the bidding for Iran’s soon-to-be-built 360-megawatt light water nuclear facility. Then Ariel Sharon can stew in his juices and those greedy Russian capitalist swine will have to come down a few billion rubles.

Remember in True Grit when John Wayne said of Kim Darby, “She reminds me of me?” Ahmadinejad has the same capacity. He reminds people of other people. There’s the little corporal—dainty Adolph—doing a jig near a railroad car in Compiegne in 1940. That could have been Ahmadinejad. Of course, France has already surrendered to Islam. Ahmadinejad might not be a match for Der Fuhrer in hatred of the Jews, but he’s not far behind and he’s working on a Final Solution and his Saudi Royal Family stooges are in Washington, DC, looking for a railroad car in which to take Hillary Clinton’s surrender. In the meantime, he’s watching Hitler films and practicing the two-step. Does he do ballroom? Or is dancing haram in Iran—accept when large American building are crashing down?


He also reminds one of Adenoid Hynkel, The Great Dictator. Hynkel stole Hitler’s mustache; Adhadinejad has stolen Peewee Herman’s five o’clock shadow. Hynkel wore a spiffy uniform; Ahmadinejad prefers civvies. Hynkel looked good in khakis; Ahmadinejad would look better in a burlap bag (at the bottom of the Dead Sea). Hynkel (Charlie Chaplin) was a make-believe Great Dictator; Ahmadinejad wants to be one. He is scarier than Hynkel; he is scarier than Richard Speck; he is scarier than Dr. Strangeglove.

And there’s that other guy—Joseph Goebbels. He was a dead-ringer for Ahmadinejad. He walked, talked and acted like Iran’s precious little rat-bag, looked like him too—neurasthenic to the bone. And just like Ahmadinejad, Herr Goebbels was always making plans to move the Jews somewhere, to Treblinka, to Dachau. And could he ever talk! “Intellectual activity is a danger to the building of character,” he said. And to make sure he wasn’t misunderstood, he added, “It is the absolute right of the State to supervise the formation of public opinion.” Ahmadinejad couldn’t have said it better. Could they have been Eng and Chang? They’re certainly not Cheech and Chong.

And one cannot forget US Representative Dennis Kucinich (D-OH). Kucinich,a la Ahmadinejad, was onc a mayor and if didn’t actually ruin Cleveland he came close. A panel of mayoral experts placed him among the ten worst big city mayors ever. But that didn’t deter Dennis. He ran for President of the United States in 2004. He has raised money for Muslim organizations with ties to terrorism (C.A.I.R.). He is right on Iraq; he is right on Palestine; he is right on the Patriot Act. He is wrong for America. He is the personification of dhimmitude; he is C.A.I.R.s man in Washington.

Well, there it is: Hitler, Hynkel, Goebbels and Kucinich. Which one reminds Ahmadinejad of Ahmadinejad? Polls close at eight—vote early and vote often.


By Denis Schulz
Freelance Writer  Contact Denis

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Keywords and misspellings:  Mahmoud Ahmadinejad mohomud Mohamed amadinejad amadinjad mahmod  politics poletics democrat demoncrat republican

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