Mahmoud Ahmadinejad - Iran's Leader can't Make
up His Mind
December 23rd 2005
corporal just can’t make up his mind. One day, he wants to wipe
Israel off the face of the map; the next, he wants to send the
Israelis to the Arctic Circle to manage reindeer herds. Then he
changes his mind again. No, the entire country,
lock-stock-and-barrel, should be moved to Europe. He hasn’t
designated any particular area in Eurabia—it’s nice at all times of
the year and with an increasing Muslim population, pogroms may soon
be back in style. How about Buchenwald or Dachau? The grandsons and
granddaughters of Ilse Koch are unemployed and it would give them
something to do.
They could go
back to making lampshades. Even in dreary Sachsenhausen the Israelis
would be safe from suicide bombers and they could spend their spare
time listening to Barbara Streisand sing Second-hand Rose and
opening C.A.I.R. packages hand-addressed by Ibrahim Hoopercrit and
Nihad Awad who surpass even Herr Hitler in their compassion for
International Jewry. Isn’t that little rat-bag precious?
Ahmadinejad has a
lot in common with Noam Chomsky. Their world-views are similar and
he was a professor at Iran University—Science and Technology. He
held the Dr. Strangeglove Chair—at least he talks like he did,
wouldn’t let it go. He would like to ride on the back of a nuke to
Tel Aviv. It would be better than a trip to the moon; he could take
Kurt Vonnegut with him.
served as mayor of Tehran before he was elected President of the
Peacock Kingdom. The list of reforms he imposed on his fellow
peacocks in Tehran is impressive. He ordered separate elevators for
men and women in city offices; he closed fast-food restaurants; he
required all male city employees to wear long sleeves and to grow
beards. If Marion Berry had thought of doing any of those things he
would still be mayor of Washington, DC. Of course, he would be
taking orders from Louis Farrakhan—
But now this
precious little rat-bag is President of Iran and he seems to be
suffering from acute foot-in-the-mouth disease, also know as
tyrannus tiradeitis. He has said some mighty strange things. “We did
not have a revolution in order to have a democracy,” he said.
Everyone knows that; it’s what Hitler said. The United Nations is
“one-sided,” he said. It is “stacked against the world of Islam.”
Yeah, tell that to Ariel Sharon and the millions of dead Christians
and animists in Sudan ant the hundreds of thousands of dead
Catholics in East Timor. But rat-bags and braying jackasses never
stop. The U.N. Security Council veto is unjust, he says. “Should
such a privilege continue to exist, the Muslim world with a
population of 1.5 billion should be extended the same privilege.”
Oh, yes, he is one precious little rat-bag!
And when it comes
to nuclear weapons, hear him whine! It is an ‘inalienable right’ to
have WMDs. Worried that Israel might wipe his nascent nuclear
weapons program off the face of the map, Ahmadinejad trotted out his
Foreign Minister with a carrot for the greedy American capitalists.
If the US will promise to observe the basic world-wide standards for
nuclear power plant construction the Iranian government will permit
the US to take part in the bidding for Iran’s soon-to-be-built
360-megawatt light water nuclear facility. Then Ariel Sharon can
stew in his juices and those greedy Russian capitalist swine will
have to come down a few billion rubles.
Remember in True
Grit when John Wayne said of Kim Darby, “She reminds me of me?”
Ahmadinejad has the same capacity. He reminds people of other
people. There’s the little corporal—dainty Adolph—doing a jig near a
railroad car in Compiegne in 1940. That could have been Ahmadinejad.
Of course, France has already surrendered to Islam. Ahmadinejad
might not be a match for Der Fuhrer in hatred of the Jews, but he’s
not far behind and he’s working on a Final Solution and his Saudi
Royal Family stooges are in Washington, DC, looking for a railroad
car in which to take Hillary Clinton’s surrender. In the meantime,
he’s watching Hitler films and practicing the two-step. Does he do
ballroom? Or is dancing haram in Iran—accept when large American
building are crashing down?
He also reminds
one of Adenoid Hynkel, The Great Dictator. Hynkel stole Hitler’s
mustache; Adhadinejad has stolen Peewee Herman’s five o’clock
shadow. Hynkel wore a spiffy uniform; Ahmadinejad prefers civvies.
Hynkel looked good in khakis; Ahmadinejad would look better in a
burlap bag (at the bottom of the Dead Sea). Hynkel (Charlie Chaplin)
was a make-believe Great Dictator; Ahmadinejad wants to be one. He
is scarier than Hynkel; he is scarier than Richard Speck; he is
scarier than Dr. Strangeglove.
And there’s that
other guy—Joseph Goebbels. He was a dead-ringer for Ahmadinejad. He
walked, talked and acted like Iran’s precious little rat-bag, looked
like him too—neurasthenic to the bone. And just like Ahmadinejad,
Herr Goebbels was always making plans to move the Jews somewhere, to
Treblinka, to Dachau. And could he ever talk! “Intellectual activity
is a danger to the building of character,” he said. And to make sure
he wasn’t misunderstood, he added, “It is the absolute right of the
State to supervise the formation of public opinion.” Ahmadinejad
couldn’t have said it better. Could they have been Eng and Chang?
They’re certainly not Cheech and Chong.
And one cannot
forget US Representative Dennis Kucinich (D-OH). Kucinich,a la
Ahmadinejad, was onc a mayor and if didn’t actually ruin Cleveland
he came close. A panel of mayoral experts placed him among the ten
worst big city mayors ever. But that didn’t deter Dennis. He ran for
President of the United States in 2004. He has raised money for
Muslim organizations with ties to terrorism (C.A.I.R.). He is right
on Iraq; he is right on Palestine; he is right on the Patriot Act.
He is wrong for America. He is the personification of dhimmitude; he
is C.A.I.R.s man in Washington.
Well, there it
is: Hitler, Hynkel, Goebbels and Kucinich. Which one reminds
Ahmadinejad of Ahmadinejad? Polls close at eight—vote early and vote
By Denis Schulz
Keywords and misspellings:
Ahmadinejad mohomud Mohamed amadinejad
amadinjad mahmod politics poletics
democrat demoncrat republican