Valerie Plame Scandal - Fiasco
July 17th 2005
The Year: 1993. The President: Bill
Clinton. The Fantasy-Scenario Crime:
Clinton buddy and advisor Ted Danson leaks private CIA stuff on
Oprah, with his comments outing an undercover CIA agent.
The Result: After being briefed for 30 seconds at the Congress snack
bar, Newt Gingrich sprints to the White House – shirt off, tie used
as a bandana, pants shortened to the ankles and frayed, shoeless –
bursts into the Oval Office, grabs Bubba and rips his jugular out
with his teeth.
Minutes later, blood and sinew still dripping from his mouth,
Gingrich announces to a televised audience that he is now “Leader”
and would set everything right. Then he sentences all minorities and
people earning under $10K per year to death in the gas chambers.
I went too far, didn’t I? Sorry.
But if you are following the whole he-said, she-said, Valerie Plame
scandal, I hope you catch my drift. I mean, Clinton did what he did,
and the republicans went Lord of the Flies on him. If anyone within
earshot of Clinton had uncovered a U.S. spy, they’d have executed
him on pay-per-view.
Now, while all the Washingtonians are running around
playing spin the issue in regards to what Karl Rove did or didn’t say, I
will admit that there is still a lot of this case I, and the rest of the
general public don’t know. What happens with Rove needs to be decided by
intelligent people with non-partisan leanings. And I asked and they said
Regardless of how it all plays out, there is only one thing certain, Mr.And
Mrs. Joe Six-pack out there are seeing the Valerie Plame fiasco this way:
The CIA sent a guy (Joe Wilson) to Niger to find out if Saddam had been
buying life-threatening WMD stuff (yellow cake. Nope, I don’t know either.)
Wilson told Bush he could find no cake, but the tea was fabulous. Bush
hates this because he knows Saddam is a baddie, even though all his
documentation is failing him. So Bush gets his evil, White House buddy (Karl
Rove) to accidentally let it slip that Wilson’s a fine fellow and that, oh,
his wife (Plame) works undercover.
Or: Bush outed an undercover CIA agent for political revenge. Things aren’t
always what they are, they are what they seem. And this all seems really bad
for a group ushered in on patriotism.
For me, this is yet another situation that makes me look back and believe
that Bush being re-elected was actually a good thing. Face it, if Kerry had
been elected, people would have felt like they accomplished something.
And soldiers, civilians and children would still be getting killed daily in
No, this is for the best. This whole, bizarre neo-con nightmare, careening
drunkenly in a Hazelwoodian-stupor of power is heading for the rocks.
We’ve known all along that politicians lie, but these guys brag about it,
then hire “reporters” to brag louder.
In regards to the Valerie Plame Scandal, republicans have shown us the way.
If a President or one of his underlings lie, it needs to be examined to the
fullest. And every matter connected to it in anyway needs to be investigated
fully, as well. I say we order one less bunker-buster bomb, give Ralph Nader
$100 million and see what he can come up with. He has had some time on his
hands, I hear.
More important, however, is that something needs to be done. This is a time
of action. Because, if we don’t do something, Howard Dean will have his
shirt off and frayed pants on in no time.
Was a crime committed in the Rove / Plame scandal
William K. Wolfrum is a freelance writer based in Belo Horizonte, Minas Gerais, Brazil.
His work has appeared in numerous magazines, newspapers
and Web sites.
Keywords and misspellings: Plume Valery