Arizona IQ Test
The State of
May 22, 2005
Are you smart enough to live in Arizona? To find out, answer the
following five questions:
1. Who is at fault if your kids fail the AIMS test, which is
a statewide test in Arizona that public school students have to pass
in order to graduate?
a) You and your kids.
b) The government.
c) Rich people.
d) Wal-Mart, McDonald's, Enron and global warming.
2. What should be done about your kids failing?
a) You should make them study more.
b) They should get free tutors so that you can watch Oprah
c) They should get free breakfast and lunch at school so that you
don't have to get up early and prepare their meals.
d) You should whine to local politicians and media until the state
lowers the cutoff for a passing grade.
3. What should you do if your kids graduate from high
school with poor reading and math skills?
a) You should accept responsibility for the problem.
b) You should demand that colleges lower their entrance
c) You should request that your kids get into college through
d) You should claim that the SAT is a biased test.
4. What will you do when your kids enter the work force and
can't find good-paying jobs?
a) Blame yourself.
b) Blame Wal-Mart, McDonald's, Enron and global warming.
c) Blame rich people.
d) Blame China and India.
5. Why are you and your kids overweight?
a) Because you consume at one sitting a gallon of Pepsi, a bucket of
Kentucky Fried Chicken, a bag of Cheetos and a bag of Reese's Peanut
b) Because of Wal-Mart, McDonald's, Enron and global warming.
c) Because of bad genes.
d) Because of suburban sprawl.
Congratulations! If you did not select answer "a" for each of the
above questions, you are smart enough to live in Arizona. You will
fit right in with the Arizona parents who got the state to lower the
passing grade on the already dumbed-down AIMS test for reading and
math to 59 percent and 60 percent, respectively.
Thanks to you, your kids will end up working at Wal-Mart and
McDonald's, and the nation will eventually lose its technological
edge to China and India.
Gotta run now. Oprah is on and the Kentucky Fried Chicken is
By Craig J. Cantoni
Mr. Cantoni is an author, columnist and founder of Honest Americans Against
Legal Theft (www.haalt.org). His new book, Breaking from the Herd:
Political Essays for Independent Thinkers by a Maverick Columnist, can
be purchased for $18.95 at retail or $10 from him. He can be reached at